Never go to bed mad

Times Square incident's the only excitement these days.

Someone should've seen the looks on those fat tourists' faces when they knew what was going on. Only one time I bothered offering if any of them wanted their pictures taken.

( Private )

アメリカ人。 クソ馬鹿。

I thought I saw a nine-tailed putty tat.

I want my sword back.

Something's not right and I'm not keen on bringing guns to a swordfight. Or whatever the fuck is coming.

Doesn't feel right and Fluffy still sulking on the couch isn't helping any.

Still want my sword back if you're done playing yourself with it, onee-sama. It would be a nice late Christmas present.

The next guy that asks why I have chewing gum, stress balls, and candy all over my fucking desk is going to get it.

See, I knew I should've ordered more Seven Stars before the week was out. Why didn't I? Because here I'd thought I'd be good, but apparently not. Went through three packs this morning. I can't even see straight after all that smoke in my eyes.

I have no Seven Stars and I'm not touching that cowboy shit. Fuck you, Marlboro Man.

Not unless I start throwing people. Then we'll see.

Scratch that. Found the six-foot-something tall son of a bitch.

For future reference, you Christians might want to remember that your "Angel of Divine Fire" wears size XL for adult underwear.

Because I'll be damned if I'm taking care of some baby who sucks on nothing but vodka for any more longer than this two weeks thing.

I need to get out more. I need to stop caring about someone's white hide. And I need more sake since Whisky Tango here guzzled most of it.

Speaking of which. Where did my stripper Ame-chan go?

Oi, Nee-sama. Did she went frolickin' on your side of town again, trying to lure you out from bad foreigners? I never did get to see that girl-on-girl action, with me all pissing on your crops and all.

Let me know, thanks. Live video feed would be wonderful if you have it.

Well, fuck.

God damn it, who's seen a six foot something-ish angel walking around with a full-on gay hippie beard and goes by the name of Yuri Wesson?

If you see him, let him know his partner doesn't think playing hooky is fucking funny and would rather drink VODKA than get paired up with the rookie Sabaku instead.

Shitty unresponsible white people.

( Private )

So word on the street is that the artful stripper who pulled dear onee-sama out of her cave from the old days is around.

I think I still owe her a drink for that one.

Hot, sweaty, fucking muggy weather - might as well send us out there with PARKAS, GENIUSES.

At least all casts and medications are off, though I wouldn't mind downing an aspirin bottle or two with sake again since VODKA IS FOR PUSSIES, YOU HEAR THAT WESSON?

Fucking hell, this heat is getting to me.

Lay off the freaking UV, onee-sama, my skin's delicate as is.

And what's with this new guy asking me about instant ramen? What the fuck is it with these new people?

Nice legs, nice attitude, nice right hook--well, fuck, I'd say I'm in love, if only I didn't want to return the goddamn favor so badly. Still not saying "sorry" though, I mean, you have to do a bit more than that to get me on my knees.

Jaw's been healing nicely. My first couple of words being on the phone for take-out, but other than that, I'm sure my usual articulation's going to be fine.

Worry not, mi compadre in crime, you'll get an earful when I get back. With any luck, a kick in the nuts, too.

So.

Guess this means Greeks aren't just a bunch of naked statues waiting around to get their asses hauled to museums or to get their dicks repolished by an Art grad, huh?

June, June, June.

Don't want any of this stiff collars and fucking tight gun belts. These things ain't made for the weather, I'm telling you. They're not made for the female ass either, trust me, I know this from experience and years of exposure.

Not pretty.

But freak storms? Why didn't I think of that sooner? Fuck the rules, right?

Sister, dear, you've been too quiet. Still off on vacation or making out with someone I'd like to punch kill rip into two wander about. Don't catch mono, you wouldn't like that.

Word to the wise. Or idiots. Whoever you may be, one or the other.

Walking on the streets at 3AM at night guarantees some kind of mischief, be it getting raped, robbed, pranked, egged, spray painted on, etc. etc.

Common sense, it's not that HARD.

( Found floating in the Hudson )

Sister's here and no doubt with the Sun comes the lily white pansy-ass Moon.

Exactly why people insist on hiding from me is ridiculous.

People are more susceptible to panic attacks than I thought.


Well. He'll live.

( Anger is one letter short of danger. )